The Slab

This term is used to refer to all businesses that mix creamy goodness with fresh produce on a cold marble slab. Some of you may know this as The Marble Slab, others The Cold Stone. No matter what term you use, the Slab is an experience worth every dollar spent there. And I won’t lie, it’s expensive. I’m just saying – it’s worth it. One point of caution – choose your location and flavor wisely.

I have a couple of points to help you choose your location. Number 1 – get to know your mixers. They are the difference between the perfect mix, and one with random flavors unknown to your palette. Each location will have a range of mixers. I have been known to do small mathematical calculations in my mind (analyzing family groupings and mixer speeds) to ensure I had the best mixer available. Don’t be alarmed if random mixer appears from the back of the shop. Recalculate, regroup, and stay calm.

Number 2 – know what you want and be specific. Don’t say ‘ummm…raspberries please’, inspect the raspberries – is there juice in the bottom of the containers, is there a frosty color indicating they are not properly thawed. Make sure you specify how many scoops and how much juice you want in your mixture. Don’t stop then. Indicate the amount of mixing you prefer. No, not yet. Choose your cone wisely, and don’t be afraid to specify which stack and how far down. If you chose your mixer well (i.e. Number 1 in your check list), he or she will appreciate your specifications – they aren’t mind readers, people, it’s a minimum wage job and some people are better at it than others.

Number 3 – After this somewhat stressful experience, you can truly enjoy your perfect concoction, without worrying about how much you just put on your credit card (let’s be real people, nobody uses cash anymore).

This doesn’t happen in a day. Plan. Observe. Take notes if you need to. Be prepared to drive 30 minutes to find a new location if the one nearest you is not meeting your needs. I’ve done it, and I will do it again. And don’t assume that one store is just like another. Be persistent, be diligent. Find your Slab, because I thank God for mine.