The Rating System

Assuming you read my first post, you understand what I mean when I say I love ice cream. Specifically, I love Godiva chocolate ice cream with fresh raspberries (2 scoops, with the juice) mixed well and served in a slightly undercooked, warm waffle cone. I will spend the next few moments describing this combination to you. Feel free to skip straight to my rating system, however, a word of advice. You cannot understand the system, if you don’t understand the ‘Godiva’.

There is a reason for each description portion of the Godiva. I will break it down so you understand the importance of each. Let’s start with the ice cream. Notice I was specific in not only the flavor, but the brand. Godiva is a universal standard for chocolate – you expect nothing but the best. Have you never had Godiva chocolate? I suggest you do – they sell them in packs of 4 for $5 at Barnes and Noble. Godiva chocolate is not as sweet as regular chocolate. It has a darker, richer color, and it doesn’t overwhelm the other flavors.

Possibly the most important aspect of the Godiva is the raspberries. They may have been frozen, but they are properly thawed producing a rich raspberry juice. Fresh raspberries have a tart flavor that complements the sweet chocolate. I highly recommend two scoops to get the full raspberry flavor. Adding juice is the only way to ensure the flavors mingle properly.

Which takes me to the mixing. If you were mixing paint, would you do one swirl to create a new color? No, you wouldn’t even dream of it. Because what would it create? Two separate colors next to each other. The goal of mixing on the slab is to combine the flavors, not put them beside each other. If not properly mixed, you are eating chocolate and raspberries. When mixed, you are eating a Godiva. Another point on mixing. The slab needs to be clean of all previous mixes. This is the job of the mixer and hence the importance of their selection. I have been enjoying a mixture when all the sudden there was a chunk of peanut butter in my mouth. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

Lastly, the cone. The cone, is like the setting for a diamond ring. You can have a beautiful diamond, but if it’s not displayed with a good setting, you lose the sparkle. You might be asking, why slightly undercooked? You want a bit of…give and take with the cone. I don’t want to break off the cone, I want it to melt. There are a variety of complications with a cone that is too hard. The warmth affects the mixture as well. Because the warm cone slightly melts the ice cream, your experience ends with a delicious puddle of flavor held in an edible bite-size cup. You can then, sit back and relish the experience before you return to the world you came from.

So, now to the rating system. All reviews will use the rating system below. The Godiva is obviously the golden standard. Few locations are capable of producing a treat like this. If you have found one, know that you are one of the chosen few. Similarly, few reviews will receive this rating. If they do, go out of your way to purchase it or experience it.

One level down from the Godiva, is the ‘Fresh’. Fresh is a good experience, something you would do again, or buy for someone else. And it could convince it’s the best, UNTIL, you find a Godiva. In ice cream language, Fresh would have chocolate ice cream, with fresh raspberries (1 scoop) mixed well and served in a waffle cone.

The norm rating with a standard score of 100 and a standard deviation of 10 (in IQ terms) is the ‘Mixed’. The Mixed is delicious, but nothing you’re going to devote and entire blog to. In ice cream terms, it is chocolate ice cream, with raspberries, still slightly frozen, mixed well and served in a waffle cone. While it’s good, there’s no need to pay $5 for this dessert, it’s easily forgotten.

One step down from norm is the ‘Sugar’. The problem with the Sugar is not that it doesn’t taste good, but that you spend your entire interaction with the ice cream upset you spent $5 because something doesn’t seem right about it. It’s just chocolate ice cream, with raspberries, still slightly frozen, half mixed and served in a sugar cone. People who don’t like ice cream are fine with a Sugar experience. The experiences, services or products we rate as Sugar are not appalling, they just leave something to be desired and cause you to question ‘was that worth the calories?’

Which brings us to ‘Plain’. Plain is store-bought chocolate ice cream, with canned raspberries, dumped on top and served in a plain cone. This is when you are sure it was not worth the calories. In fact you’re angry because you know you could have used those $5 to get an entire buffet AND that dessert. Now, some people might like Plain. But in my opinion, it’s just not worth the slab it was not mixed on.

I’m not saying that you need to as passionate about ice cream as I am. But, while my rating scale is based on ice cream, what I am rating is not. I simply feel the need to compare other aspects of life to my Godiva. I thank God for the Godivas that get me through this life.